Diary of Mikan, a girl trying to live up in Australia
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今まで、みかんのWritingでUPしたものは、1日2つか3つ書いた中
でも、一番マシなのをUPしてみてたのだけど、今回は「何じゃこの
Writingは!」というのをUPしてみようと思う。
恥をさらすものの、人の間違いは為になる。ためにしてみて下され。

問題は、「仕事を選ぶ際、ある人はお金が大切だというけれど、
他の人は楽しむことが大切だと言う。あなたの意見ははいどっち?
理由と説明を含めよ」。

本当はこんなふざけた聞き方じゃないけど、まぁその辺はご愛嬌で。

ほなWriting。

Work plays an important role in our lives. Some people say
that the most important factor to consider when choosing
a job is salary. However, others believe that work should be
enjoyable. The latter idea sounds good in theory, but
it is impossible in practice for some people. In this paper,
more explanation will be put forward regarding the argument
for and against about the factor to be considered in the
selection of a job.

To begin with, because people spend a significant amount of
time at their work, interest or enjoyment is important to
consider. When a person does a job which he is
uninterested in, he may feel stressed, leading him to suffer
from health problems. Moreover, many people today resign
from their jobs because they simply do not like their work.
Therefore, it is important for people to select occupations
that interest them.

It is, however, a fact that people need money to survive.
The enjoyable occupations for people often do not
fulfill their besic financial needs. For example, very few
musicians or artists earn enough money to live on.
In addition, there are cases where people have no choice
of their job type. Single mothers, for example, need to work
to live and support their children, and it is necessary for them
to do any job available. Thus, income is an essential part of
the consideration when choosing a job.

Coming up with a conclusion, although it is favourable that
people choose jobs which are enjoyable, satisfying finantial
needs is essential to live comfortably. Therefore, in my
opinion, money is a more important factor than an enjoable
experience.

ぱっと見OKそうに見えるけれど、全くの駄目駄目エッセイでござい
ます。…というのも、Body2の最後のシングルマザーの部分は
トピックに沿ってない。「仕事を選択するときに…」と問題文に
あるのに、「仕事の選択ができない人たちがいる」と書いてしまって
いるみかん。あちゃちゃ。

自分の意見をサポートする段落なのにトピからそれたら、根拠が
薄れてしまう。まさに「なんじゃこりゃーっっ!」なのだ。

Task2のキーは”Be convincing”。相手をこれでもかっっ!…って
くらい自分の意見に引き寄せてなんぼだ。これを読ませた
ホストマザー、トピックを読み直してた(笑)。

まぁ明日のIELTSではトピからそれないように書くまで。頑張るぞ。
スポンサーサイト


追記を閉じる▲

Work plays an important role in our lives. Some people say
that the most important factor to consider when choosing
a job is salary. However, others believe that work should be
enjoyable. The latter idea sounds good in theory, but
it is impossible in practice for some people. In this paper,
more explanation will be put forward regarding the argument
for and against about the factor to be considered in the
selection of a job.

To begin with, because people spend a significant amount of
time at their work, interest or enjoyment is important to
consider. When a person does a job which he is
uninterested in, he may feel stressed, leading him to suffer
from health problems. Moreover, many people today resign
from their jobs because they simply do not like their work.
Therefore, it is important for people to select occupations
that interest them.

It is, however, a fact that people need money to survive.
The enjoyable occupations for people often do not
fulfill their besic financial needs. For example, very few
musicians or artists earn enough money to live on.
In addition, there are cases where people have no choice
of their job type. Single mothers, for example, need to work
to live and support their children, and it is necessary for them
to do any job available. Thus, income is an essential part of
the consideration when choosing a job.

Coming up with a conclusion, although it is favourable that
people choose jobs which are enjoyable, satisfying finantial
needs is essential to live comfortably. Therefore, in my
opinion, money is a more important factor than an enjoable
experience.

ぱっと見OKそうに見えるけれど、全くの駄目駄目エッセイでござい
ます。…というのも、Body2の最後のシングルマザーの部分は
トピックに沿ってない。「仕事を選択するときに…」と問題文に
あるのに、「仕事の選択ができない人たちがいる」と書いてしまって
いるみかん。あちゃちゃ。

自分の意見をサポートする段落なのにトピからそれたら、根拠が
薄れてしまう。まさに「なんじゃこりゃーっっ!」なのだ。

Task2のキーは”Be convincing”。相手をこれでもかっっ!…って
くらい自分の意見に引き寄せてなんぼだ。これを読ませた
ホストマザー、トピックを読み直してた(笑)。

まぁ明日のIELTSではトピからそれないように書くまで。頑張るぞ。
スポンサーサイト

【2008/02/01 19:56】 | IELTS
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上記広告は1ヶ月以上更新のないブログに表示されています。新しい記事を書くことで広告を消せます。